Thursday 11 August 2011

Forced Sexchange

Here is the latest Almodovar film, yes it features a tranny element, no surprises there, but this time a forced sexchange. Here is the plot from Wikipedia - 

The Skin I Live In is based on Thierry Jonquet's novel Tarantula.[1] Almodóvar describes the film as "a horror story without screams or frights".[2]
The film is set in Toledo. In 2012, surgeon Robert Ledgard (Banderas) has succeeded in cultivating a skin that cannot burn, claiming he has only tested the process on mice. At his estate, which also serves as a facility for medical research and operations, he is holding a young woman (Anaya) captive with the help of his servant Marilia (Paredes). It is carnival season. While Robert is away, Zeca (Álamo), having committed a robbery, arrives in carnival costume as a tiger to ask Marilia, his mother, to hide him for a few days. He learns of the female captive. When Marilia refuses to hide him or grant him access the captive, he binds and gags her, gets to the captive, and attempts to rape her. Robert arrives, interrupts the rape, and kills Zeca.
Marilia tells the captive that she is mother to both Zeca and Robert by different men, a fact she has not shared with them. To explain what motivates Robert's experiments on the captive, she explains that Robert's wife was burned in a car crash twelve years earlier. When she saw what she looked like after the accident, "a cinder," she jumped from a window to her death. Their daughter Norma (Suárez) witnessed the suicide and required psychiatric treatment thereafter. Marilia's story segues into a flashback.
It is six years earlier. Vincente (Cornet), a young man who works in his mother's dress shop, makes unsuccessful advances toward his lesbian co-worker. Norma is temporarily released from psychiatric care to attend a wedding with her father. At the reception dance, Vincente leads her into the garden and attempts to have sex with her. She screams. He hits her and flees. Robert finds his daughter and as she awakens she imagines he is her rapist. She is incarcerated for more psychiatric treatment and soon commits suicide. As revenge for the rape, Robert has Vincente kidnapped and performs sex reassignment surgery on him. He turns Vincente into a physical replication of Norma.
It is 2012 again. Following Zeca's attack and Marilia's explanation, Vincente, now a woman, has taken the name Vera and feigns cooperation with Robert. Fulgencio (Fernández), one of Robert's colleagues, reads a news story about a missing youth named Vincente and recognizes him as the subject of sex reassignment surgery. He accuses Roberto of falsifying documents to conduct that surgery and of experimenting on Vincente. Vera arrives to support Robert by asserting her willing participation. Having gained Robert's trust, Vera kills him and then Marilia. Vera returns to the dress shop and tells her mother and co-worker that she is Vincente, now a woman.

Are you affected by crossdressing? Do you have cross gender feelings that you find difficult to talk about? Why not try Cross Dream Life at

Monday 11 July 2011

I Want What I Want - Transgender Movie Finally on DVD

Transgender Sexchange Film

Here is a very rare film. I only remember it being shown once on television here in the UK. I was about 10 years at the time and it was on very late at night so I missed out.  33 years later the film has finally made its appearance on DVD for us to enjoy.

From IMDB:

"This is the story of a young man's slow transition into the woman he always knew he was meant to be. Roy/Wendy played by Anne Heywood takes the plunge, leaving her abusive father's house and starting life anew as a woman. Through trial and error she learns the skills and consequences of being a woman as well as the terrible problems involved in not being considered fully female.

The look of the film is total 70's complete with bellbottoms and sappy soundtrack. The story is also somewhat unrealistic. For example, Wendy is able to become fully passable with only a short time of practicing in private. The film goes on to explore many interesting consequences of a life "under cover" when all she wants is a simple life as a normal woman. With all it's obvious faults, "I Want What I Want" contains some surprisingly touching and sensitive moments. And although it appears to have been a very cheap production, the filmmakers manage to do quite a lot with their limited resources. For example, background sounds of cars and dogs during some of Wendy's terrifying moments in public give an eerily realistic feel.

I always find it disappointing when a woman is cast for the part of a man pretending to be a woman. "Victor Victoria" is a fine film using the same gimmick but I find it very difficult to see Julie Andrews as a man even though she gives about the best performance she was capable of. The same goes for this film. Contrast that with "The Crying Game" where the illusion is perfect due to exceptional casting.

Probably controversial in it's time, "I Want What I Want" is a clearly a small film but one worth watching by anyone interested transgender issues."

The DVD is not available in the UK you have to import it from the States. Amazon has it in stock as a Region 1 disk, however I think the back of the box reports it as a Region 0 DVD.

Saturday 9 July 2011

Problems With The Inner Woman?

"John Skillpa, a quiet bank clerk living in tiny Peacock, Nebraska, prefers to live an invisible life. This might have to do with John's secret: he has another personality no one knows about, a woman who each morning does his chores and cooks him breakfast before he starts his day. Then, in a moment, everything changes..."

Great performance by Cillian Murphy crossdressed for the second time (the first was Breakfast on Pluto) playing a quite bank clerk with a hidden alter ego. Not a transgender film but a very convincing male to female transformation tale.

Friday 8 April 2011

Transvestite Nurse???

Just a quick one. I've added three new films to Tranisa. Tranny Bordello, NURSE!! and Lingerie Shop. Here is a trailer of NURSE!!!

Saturday 19 March 2011

Gender Transformation Top List

I've set up a new Gender Transformations top list which I hope will be of interest to anyone who has a related site and wants to have some easy free traffic. I've only switched it on yesterday and am looking to get it populated. If you have a Transvestite, Shemale or Gender Transformation related site please feel free to be umongst the first to join up. It's free and easy to do. All you have to do is fill out your details and supply your banner to get yourself listed. Your position on the list is determined by linking back to the site from your own site with the supplied banner. I've always received good traffic myself from such top lists so I thought it would be fun to have my own. Its a fair and easy way to trade traffic. Don't worry I'm not using any devious code which runs nasty pop-ups or anything like that, it's a clean genuine traffic driving system. Anyway here is the Gender Transformations Top 100 list:

Gender Transformation Top List


Crossdream Life

Great to see that there are new people joining CrossDreamLife, I notice that there are some very frank and honest posts up there already. I'm hoping to publish a detailed bio of myself up there soon. The bios posted there by the new members are most interesting, and it's good to know I share many character traits with others out there. I wish the site every success.

Tuesday 15 March 2011


Here is a press release from the team at for their new forum:

An online forum for crossdreamers

A group of trangender people have established a new online forum for what they call crossdreamers, men and women who dream about having the body of the opposite sex.

The founder, organizer and administrator of the site, Jason Ikeda, says that there is no lack of transgender discussion forums out there, being that for crossdressers, transsexual men and women and various gender variant people:

"We have to face that discussing transgender sexual fantasies remain difficult in many of these forums, though, partly because there are a lot of transgender people who do not have such dreams and partly because sexuality remains a taboo in many circles."

Autogynephilia and autoandrophilia

Jack Molay, the man behind the blog Crossdreamers, adds that some of the scientific discussions on this topic have led to further stigmatization:

"The scientific terms that are used are 'autogynephilia' - the love of one self as a woman -- and 'autoandrophilia' -- the love of oneself as a man. The scientists behind these terms have made crossdreamers visible -- which is helpful. Unfortunately, they try as hard as they can to include these terms in the American  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, labeling all crossdreamers as perverts. This  makes it hard for crossdreamers to get a voice, even in transgender circles."

Sharing life stories

The idea behind the new forum, which is called Crossdream Life, is therefore to provide transgender crossdreamers with a place where they can discuss their lives, share coping strategies, inform each others about on- and offline resources, make friends and vent their sorrows and frustrations. 

There is also a chat function, which makes it possible for members to continue their discussions in private.

"We do not expect the participants to agree on one explanation for what crossdreaming is, what it should be or what causes it," Jason says.  "One objective of the forum is to provide an open-minded and tolerant place for exploring what crossdreaming is about. But we do expect everyone to treat each other with respect and empathy."

A little known transgender group

No one knows how many crossdreamers there are in the world.

""There are no world wide mappings of crossdreamers as such," Jack Molay says. "There are some guesstimates for the number of transsexuals, but not all transwomen or transmen have been crossdreamers, and only a minority of crossdreamers transition. Still, I believe there are far more of them that most of us realize.  I have seen some site statistics for some transgender fiction sites that leads me to believe there are many millions in the English speaking world alone."

Lately several new blogs devoted to crossdreaming and related transgender themes have appeared online, which indicates that this group is finding its voice.

Does Jason expect millions of participants over at Crossdream Life?

"No," he says. "But I do hope we can reach the kind of critical mass that leads to interesting, useful and liberating discussions."

The forum can be found over at

Sunday 13 February 2011

The Schzoid Man an Alternative to the Autogynephilic Pervert

 A little while ago I received some abuse on a forum where I posted some opinions regarding the support of autogynephilia. Or at least I thought it was abuse at the time. It was the old tired argument where a career minded transsexual activist was shouting that autogynephila does not exisit, despite a number of people on the thread admitting the symptoms of AGP. The TS did not suffer from any of the AGP traits found them disgusting and so was of the opinion that AGP did not exisit and that people championing autogynephilia where men with a basic fetish, no different to a man liking stockings and suspenders on a naked woman. On trying to convince the TS that it was more than just a simple fetish as AGP contained gender dysphoric problems, she back fired and stated that the condition was in fact Schziod Personality Disorder, nothing to do with any transgender issues. Here is a bit I copied from Wiki on the subject.

Schziod Personality Disorder carries the following 3 groups of characteristics:

1. unsociability, quietness, reservedness, seriousness, and eccentricity
2. timidity, shyness with feelings, sensitivity, nervousness, excitability, and fondness of nature and books
3. pliability, kindliness, honesty, indifference, silence, and cold emotional attitudes.

People with SPD are sometimes sexually apathetic, though they do not normally suffer from anorgasmia. Many schizoids have a normal sex drive but some prefer to masturbate rather than deal with the social aspects of finding a sexual partner. Therefore, their need for sex may appear to be less than those who do not have SPD, as individuals with SPD prefer to remain alone and detached. When having sex, individuals with SPD often feel that their personal space is being violated, and they commonly feel that masturbation or sexual abstinence is preferable to the emotional closeness they must tolerate when having sex.

I personally don't agree with the TS who felt satisfed that she had diagnosed the AGP condition.  SPD traits can be applied to most people at any given time.

I sometimes wonder if the gender condition is tied in with my inner shyness with women and relationships, to the point where I have created a woman out of myself and have created a gender dysphoric condition myself????

Here is a sip from a very interesting page Jack Molay pointed me to via Twitter:

"I did not display stereotypically female characteristics as a child. Nor, I should say, did I display the usual male ones either. I was painfully shy, and prone for a long time to ineffectual frustration rages. I spent most of my time reading and watching TV. But my primary, and most effective sexual fantasies during my teen and adult years would be immediately recognizable to anyone who has read anything in the genre of “tranny fiction”. Feminization, either forced, or otherwise not by my own responsibility, was what did it for me. And to this day, despite being almost eight years post-op, those continue to be the most potent sexual fantasies I have."

Evidence that AGP continues past SRS!!!!!!!!

Anyone Enjoy Ballet?

Here is a trailer for a recent Tranisa film I did for those with a ballet fetish. Now that is a serious fetish LOL. Enjoy!!!

Thursday 13 January 2011

Sexchange Regret, Retransition & A Forced Sexchange For Good Measure

A most fascinating documentary regarding retransition and sexchange regret. The other parts are also on You Tube.

"I simply grew out..... of the feelings I had, that made me want to live as a female" 

So what made someone grow out of these feelings? Was the whole desire testosterone fueled in the first place, perhaps by AGP? Judy/Josef Kirchner looked great as a female and was in every way a female when she is saying how she wants to be male again. Are there those who are truly duel gendered to the point  where they need to do one role full time and then another?

And what of Josef today? He has a new website 'Mangina Man'

His former web site Help Me Reverse My Sexchange is available

Forced Sexchange Fantasy? Anyone?

So if having a sexchange forced upon you is your fetish you'll enjoy this new horror movie which deals with just that, a forced sexchange. The film is called Victim. Watch if you dare!!!!

Monday 10 January 2011

Autogynephilia What Treatment is There?

By now those of you who have identified yourselves as autogynephilics or at least to the sexual motivation of pushing yourself into transition, would have read many case studies and examples of people like yourself. Many feel that there are other components or layers to the condition besides the sexual side tied up with the gender confusion causing a feeling of gender dysphoria. Personally I find that the whole thing exhausts me, taking me on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. During the journey I'm always looking for some sort of place where I know I'd be comfortable but the intense level of frustration behind the AGP condition wears me down at times. As I write I'm on a bit of a downer with it all. 

In the past I've become so wrapped up in the gender confusion that I feel my head simply 'pops' from the frustration, allowing me to have a temporary break from AGP. The frequency of the breaks has become shorter and shorter as I've got older. I'm at the stage now waiting for such a break to occur but there does not seem to be one on the horizon. Going back to my 20's I could manage to have a break from it all for a couple of months at a time, it would always come back with a vengeance. 

So what can be done to manage these feelings and emotions which cause so much mental exhaustion? What treatment is there? You can talk and talk to a therapist and get no where. You can take hormones which do help but then you are giving into it all, shouldn't you keep fighting? So what helps the sufferer long term?

Some Light Reading For You

One thing that prompted the above was the following post I found on Jack Molays Twitter Transvestitism is a Narcotic drug 

Another interesting read I found was the Runaway Train 'Story', which is about a young AGP who goes through a full transisition. We are led to believe that the story is fact and for the most part it does convince but there are the odd 'tranny buttons' that are pushed. However it's does contain some very good insights to what it could mean for an AGP who does transition. If someone can prove to me the story is real I'd love to hear from you. Anyway here is the Runaway Train.

Are you affected by crossdressing? Do you have cross gender feelings that you find difficult to talk about? Why not try Cross Dream Life at

Sunday 2 January 2011

Are Some Shemales & Post-Ops Autogynephiliacs?

Me with some of my Murano glass collection.
Surprising to learn I have other interests.
I've often been fascinated by the sexuality of shemales and post-op girls. I guess I'm somewhat a shemale myself having adjusted my hormone balances over the years, but I find it hard to analyse myself. 

There are photographs platered all over the internet of shemales, and more recently post-op girls, in a variety of sexual poses. I wonder what motivates them in the sexual sense when transitioned? When I mean transitioned I also take into account non-op.

So what if someone feels that they have autogynephilic motivations, does this carry on through the transition process? I have read many articles on the subject.

It would appear that if you're a transsexual but has the autogynephilic push behind you, you could end up in one of the following states if you went through with the complete obsession:

i. Total Regret. The surgical SRS leaves you in a state wondering why you ever did it, as the driving force has been switched off from the surgery. In which case you should have remained non-op as presumably being in the non-op state you were still able to experience the autogynephilia to a lesser perhaps controlled degree, but at the same time enough for you to be motivated to live in role as a female. 

ii. During transition the hormones have gradually turned off the autogynephilia, but you still feel motivated to become female. You feel a great relief that you don't have your head full of autogynephilic fog anymore. You are able now to express the female side of yourself without guilt. You are happy and this continues after SRS. You are who you've always wanted to be.

Me last year
looking at the images available of post-ops some appear to have embrassed a new sexual realm and 'appear' to enjoy their sex life. Now with commercial pornography the smile can be insincere, the girl is simply doing it for the money etc etc. But what about the girls who are either promoting themselves with their own model sites or just the amateur picture postings that you may see on many forums? Are they continuing a sexual exhibitionism which is part of a possible continuation of autogynephila, or is this everyday sexual behaviour?

An interesting resourse for examining post-op girls in either everyday photos, glamour or pornographic is the very long running thread at Planet Suzy.  You have to join the free forum in order to view the private Gay / Bi-sexual / Shemale / Ladyboy section. The actual thread is here once you've joined up.  There are over 500 pages of post-op ladies on there, hundreds and hundreds of images. The interest in post-ops or the fetishism of the post-op girl has really only appeared over the last couple of years.

When I view photos like the ones below there is an intense envy on my part. They have suceeded with what I don't have the guts to follow through with. I regard the three examples below as real women as they are presenting themselves as such in a normal everyday manner. There does not appear to be any sexual motivation to their presentation of themselves as women. No signs of any autogynephila here. Thats not to say that they don't express their sexuality in other ways.

My favourite post op lady is Kelly Van Der Veer, and here is my favourite photo of her

But back to what I was saying regarding sexuality of such women who are listed on the same thread but are avertly sexual with their amateur postings? Here is one picked at random. Why would a post op woman be interested in sexualising herself as a female unless there was a sexual motivation to do so? Now it's a good thing that sexuality is enjoyed in post-op life, but I do wonder if in such cases as below, the autogynephilia motivation has carried itself acrosss into post op life? I do accept that such exposure of ones self can have nothing to do with autogynephilia as many real women have such photo sets. It does please me that there is a sexual interest in life for people who become post-op.

After SRS
After SRS

I don't know who the person is in the above three shots, just found her on Planet Suzy.

What I've been questioning does show up my own stereotype views of women so I do accept that. The example above shows exhibitionist tendencies but could this be AGP fantasy continuing into post-op life?I had a tranny friend I lost touch with several years ago. He was a typical tranny, lots of photos of himself,  went out and about socially and seemed quite happy. He was always very anti TS, saying that no way would he ever take hormones or anything like that. Anyway, one day I came across him again on the internet. We swapped phone numbers and had a good chat on the phone. After a while I joked about how he has softened his voice, he then confessed to me that he had been through SRS. I initially thought he was joking but he was serious. We then continued the conversation via web cam so as I could actually see him (now a she). She looked good and asked if I wanted to see her breasts, laughing I said yes and without hesitation she got them out to show me. She then without asking put her legs in the air and showed off her vagina to me. The 'show' then continued with a dildo and you can imagine the rest. I was not sure what to make of all this and I did feel somewhat embarrassed about it all. Once the show had ended she then updated me with what had happened to her though a series of photos she emailed me whilst on the web cam. They were the usual photos that she always did of herself before becoming a TS. Here is me dressed up outside a castle, shopping centre, standing by my car etc etc. Mixed in with the photos were overtly sexualised ones too. Many up-skirt shots taken showing off her vagina  climbing over fences, walking up the stairs etc etc. So all I could conclude was that  autogynephilia had carried on for her past being a post-op for 5 years. This is a true story I have not made it up.

Anyway that's my blog entry for today.

Cheryl x