Monday 10 January 2011

Autogynephilia What Treatment is There?

By now those of you who have identified yourselves as autogynephilics or at least to the sexual motivation of pushing yourself into transition, would have read many case studies and examples of people like yourself. Many feel that there are other components or layers to the condition besides the sexual side tied up with the gender confusion causing a feeling of gender dysphoria. Personally I find that the whole thing exhausts me, taking me on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. During the journey I'm always looking for some sort of place where I know I'd be comfortable but the intense level of frustration behind the AGP condition wears me down at times. As I write I'm on a bit of a downer with it all. 

In the past I've become so wrapped up in the gender confusion that I feel my head simply 'pops' from the frustration, allowing me to have a temporary break from AGP. The frequency of the breaks has become shorter and shorter as I've got older. I'm at the stage now waiting for such a break to occur but there does not seem to be one on the horizon. Going back to my 20's I could manage to have a break from it all for a couple of months at a time, it would always come back with a vengeance. 

So what can be done to manage these feelings and emotions which cause so much mental exhaustion? What treatment is there? You can talk and talk to a therapist and get no where. You can take hormones which do help but then you are giving into it all, shouldn't you keep fighting? So what helps the sufferer long term?

Some Light Reading For You

One thing that prompted the above was the following post I found on Jack Molays Twitter Transvestitism is a Narcotic drug 

Another interesting read I found was the Runaway Train 'Story', which is about a young AGP who goes through a full transisition. We are led to believe that the story is fact and for the most part it does convince but there are the odd 'tranny buttons' that are pushed. However it's does contain some very good insights to what it could mean for an AGP who does transition. If someone can prove to me the story is real I'd love to hear from you. Anyway here is the Runaway Train.

Are you affected by crossdressing? Do you have cross gender feelings that you find difficult to talk about? Why not try Cross Dream Life at


  1. The Runaway Train story is a fascinating read, and I am trying hard to make up my mind whether it is a propaganda piece written by someone knowledgeable about autogynephilia and who wants to label all crossdreamer transsexuals as perverted men -- or not.

    The fact that it is not written down by the protagonist makes this hard to determine. The use of the word "autogynephilia" (which sounds very clinical) may have been introduced by this person.

    There used be a separate genre for repenting homosexual men (very often fundamentalism Christians), telling similar stories about how they regretted their sinful past and were now struggling to adapt as loving heterosexual fathers and what not. They repressed their true nature and suffered for it for the rest of their lives.

    The fact that a young teenager get a frictionless passage into womanhood seems unrealistic too me. A good psychologist/psychiatrist should at least have discussed this with her. The voluptuous D cup body seems more like crossdreamer wish fulfillment.

    Still, many of the symptoms described seem genuine. So parts of the story are at least real in one sense or the other.

    The question is: what causes the guilt or confusion:

    1. The "fact" that this person is really a man and not a woman, or..

    2. A society that instills guilt into anyone who dares to break with the gender roles of the day. The parents disapprove. She lives in constant fear of the disapproval of others. Much of her suffering is clearly caused by the fact that she tries to live up to the female gender stereotypes of the day, being with a man even if she clearly is gynephilic. That alone may explain much of the dysphoria.

    The alienation from the female body seems constructed. It seems to me most crossdreamers and crossdressers find a lot of pleasure and happiness in having breasts, even Benjamin pointed out that this was the case. Still, I am sure there are crossdreamer ("AGP") transtioners who do regret their sex change.

  2. Many thanks Jack for the comments.

    The only part which gave the game away for me as a made up story was this following passage from the first chapter. If it was edited out I would have passed it as genuine:

    "As I sit here and type this making many mistakes with my long red painted nails touching the keyboard gently, I find these mistakes tiresome and frustrating but there is nothing that I can do about it now.

    My red lips are freshly painted, my normally mascara-coated lashes are long and fluttering and I have no less than three earrings dangling from each of my pierced earlobes. I have to look down past my real D cup breasts as they strain up and down in a tight under wired bra. I know they are real breasts because the thin straps of my bra cut into my collarbones and they more than anything else are a constant reminder of my big life mistake.

    On my feet I have on as usual my new pointed spike heeled boots despite being at home and my pantyhose covered hairless legs rub together easily while my long dark hair hangs right down my back."

    I first found the story many years ago on some sort of Christian God Bothering site which was trying to cure transgendered people.

  3. Oh sister I wish I knew what helps the AGP "sufferer" in the long term. Now that I'm dressing regularly again I feel the urge to start feminizing my body.