Sunday 27 June 2010

The Autogynephilic Patient

I’d better say that this blogg will talk about sexual motivations associated with transgenderism. Its not for transitioning transsexuals who find the idea of sexual association with transition repulsive and perverse,  after all if you’re a transsexual who does not identify with this then what’s the point if reading this? Anyone who admits to suffering from the symptoms associated with autogynephilia is shot down very quickly by career minded transsexuals. This only results in greater confusion for the sufferer and it does not allow for an intelligent analysis of the symptoms and motivations.

I know autogynephilia is a ‘theory’, but it is a word which does describe the condition I have. I may not agree with every element of it but it is the best way of describing my motivations. To an outsider it may seem that I have a simple fetish. But it goes far deeper than that, I have all the symptoms of gender dysphoria that many many non AGP transsexuals have.

There are those of us who do desire transition but often question what is at the root of the desire to be female.

I’m not pretending to be an expert and only base what I write upon my own experiences over the last twenty odd years being ‘out’ on the TG scene.

'Oh it's not a sexual thing, I'm just wearing the uniform of my sex, I'm a transsexual not a transvestite', said the transsexual who was dressed in a mini skirt and see through blouse whilst parading at a drag nightclub in London. This was over twenty years ago when if anyone admitted to a sexual motivation to their dressing activities they were just a transvestite, a pervert. A true transsexual would never have experienced any form of sexual attachment to their trangenerism. 

Many TGs seemed to think that there was some form of pecking order. Transsexuals were seen as the higher order whilst the TV was just a TV. It was very hard to tell the difference between a TS and a TV. Appearance wise there seemed no difference between the two trans types. You may mistake a fetish dressed transsexual for a transvestite and also a transvestite dressed as a everyday woman could be easily be mistaken for being transsexual.

Are things any different today?

From meeting and talking to countless TG people over the years it's been very difficult to get them to talk about their sexuality. There are some for whom the dressing and associated behavior is so obviously sexually motivated yet they strongly deny it. Why do such TG people lie about this? Strangly enough some of the post op TS’s I’ve spoken to have admitted to a sexual motivation to the whole experience. They seem happy enough after SRS – should this be the case, shouldn’t they be full of regret??

This is only an introduction to my thoughts. I want to explore if AGP people can find inner peace, and happiness. 


1 comment:

  1. Yes, I'm sure that you can be very happy as a woman and you are very studied and pass as female well. I would not but can see how the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!